Tuesday, April 13, 2010

When you feel you are in the presence of God you sometimes feel a really weird electricity or warmth!!!!! its really cool I feel it sometimes when I pray. God is truly amazing!!!!!!! if you haven't prayed before you should!!!!!!!! I pray about four or five hours a day so should you:D Have fun my friendzzz:D and remember
"ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find"
Matthew 7:7
this is a really random thought that just popped into my head
you don't have to find your place, the cool group of friends or try to be the best, don't live to anyone's standards because its your life and you know what will make you happy. your parents, your friends and family don't need to tell you what you should do with you life because, chances are they have a lot problems that they still need to fix. you should alwaysmake sure you have enough for yourself before you give everything away. live life like you have nothing better to do but dance around in a musical


hello people of earth im sorry i havent written in a while but ive been really busy with school work! I have had a very crazy couple months!!!! I love everyone Ive ever met!!!!!! Peace out for now!!!!!!! Jesus is amazing!!!!!!!!!! go be catholic(like me)!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 20, 2009


The unkown
Is where I have been placed
By the unfound possesser
There is no last placment for the dead
Which inside I have become
Where am I?
What am I?
How is this real?
The pain that has been conceled
Is no longer goin to measure up
To that which is nothing
From here to there
I have not been kind
And I am insulted by
The dark of our hearts
Blacked out to scars that
Can never fade
And this seems useless
To anyone
To tell them what is happening
Because only one person can stop this
And I dont know if they are ready
Love is nothing
But a stain on my heart
If this cannot become serious
Then I must leave...
I will not return
Unless you have changed
Or I am blind again...
Which will never become possible...
I am almost wishing to be forsaken...
But you can never understand
Becuase no one can..........


I am nothing.
I am unreal.
I am broken.
I will die,
And pass unnoticed.
I will never be loved.
I will only be thought as...
A nobody.
A fake.
A freak.
A loser.
A mistake.
I am screwed up.
I am frozen.
I am always lying.
I can never tell the truth
Even if i knew what it was,
I would never know.
How I wish I was dead.
How I wish I was loved.
But wishes never come true.
This is a worthless waste of time,
Because no one will care about me,
Enough to read this.
I dont even care.
I hate.
I love.
I dont make a difference.
I dont mean anything...


Fakeness is what I have become
But I don't know if I am fake or not.
I am just a tool for this other.
Who is it inside?
why is it not
Why now?
Why does it compel me
To do this?
I can't be anything.
I feel so fake,
And I try to not believe in
What people say,
But its hard
when you dont know if you are.


And cut open.
I am in pain.
What is this that I have become?
Who is the one in control?
Who is this in possesion of my soul?
For I know not who I am
What I am
Or this unkown I am in touch with?
It is calling me whether I like it or not,
I am what I am...

Who Is It?

My heart is not what I believe it to be...
I hope that this is a lesson...
That is what I cannot explain.
What is this feeling I have?
I can't escape it.
It never leaves me.
All I want is to feel whole
But I cannot see.
Who is that!!
Calling my name?
What are we really?
Am I real?
I can't tell if I am real.
What am I?
Who are we?
I need another answer!!!
Please call out to me!!!
Am I being pushed out of society?
And crazy as it seems
I have never felt so perfect
Or more torn apart
Then I am now.
Why is the world so harsh?
Am I changed?
Who am I?
Flexed as a paper
Stiched inside the fine seams
Of life.
Keep me alive
Because I feel so dead
I might as well be.
I feel as if no one cares about me
Even though I know they do.
My heart and head are not the same
They can never work together.
And if all else fails which do I trust?
And if all else fails who do I believe?
And if all else fails where will we be?


Everytime i see you
My heart stops beating
But the pain never ends
Even after you have left
The pain of love never ceases to exist...
Love can fill your heart
But it can also break it....

Monday, July 27, 2009


The fake flesh.
They speak in an openess,
Unknown to man.
We are consistantly,
This fake blood,
Is unreal.
So we will die,
But becoming ourselves,
Can keep us,

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The Conversation

"Those little monkeys,
Are the words little said,
But they are the greatest.
Funny how it sounds so perfect,
Funny how we are alive,
Funny how everyone is part of one story.
If a small ant is killed,
The last of its kind,
How our world does change."
Said the rabbit to the fly.

"But those worldly to all,
And those whole can understand,
The berries of red are the same,
As those black ones,
Its all how we are perceiving things,
And what then is the lesson here?"
Replied the fly.

"For monkeys are the smallest of hopes,
They keep me going,
And his friend the ant is forever,
He will be reunited,
With him when he is the last...
Which he is,
And so are you and I,
The key of our flowers,
Are how we are,
Bonded and befriended,
By all the lost, lonely and the last of us"
Said the unknown.

The Telescope

Calmer at the sea.
The water washes all those dreams,
Up over me.

My choice to choose what dreams i want,
Those make me who i am.
Dreams are washed upon the sand.

Calmer at the ocean.
The waves are a part of me.
We are the sea.
We are the water.
We are sand,
Moved by ourselves,
To where we are.

We are the ocean.
We are the beach.
We are a dream.
We are a nightmare.
We are found by ourselves,
We are lost in ourselves,
By selfishness
We are what we have willed.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Broken Hearts Always Scar

Fireflys are nothing more than words,
Drifting in my dark mind
But fireflys can't live forever,
And neither can I.

My words are artifical,
Nothing more because if I really talk,
I will be ignored.

My fever is higher,
I can't make a mistake,
Because if I do,
All the fireflys will pore out
And there will be a neverending poison,
That drifts through my veins
And the tears never dry
The blood to my heart will continue to flow
But the places and moments,
Where you touched my heart,
Shall always ache for you.

I will always remember,
The most of my moments,
When i thought it was true,
But you are always going to be,
To good to be true to me
So I'll go back,
To my former love,
Because love is what I live for,
Till the end of my every day.

I loved you again,
But forever you are going to be,
My hell in my heaven,
Where Fireflys are nothing more,
Than dreams I never lived before.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Sketch Yourself Again

Thoughts are oblivious to all who think
The sand is a warning
To all that we are going to be...

We have all been washed away
We don't know who we are until we are...

Faith is a descret way of saying no
Bubbles are just another form
Crystal clear when you really look through
You, yourself are mirrored within
It's just some people dont see all of their chances
And others are more cautious

than those who arn't as emotional...
A fiction of an exit...
We can never escape...

Circles In Shapes


A lost cause is nothing without a gain,
The follwers are nothing without a leader,

And sadness is nothing without a happy,
And all we become is nothing through unending flaws...

As snow still trembles a heart is frozen,
Still beating and bleeding,
Nothing is nothing without an everything,
Love is nothing without you,
And i am nothing without this...

My hope isn't that you fall for me,
But that you will realize why I'm falling for you,
And my hope isn't that you read this,
Its that you know what I'm writing about.
I love you.
i think.

Just be yourself.
No one is you,
anyone is a stereotype.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Happy

Right now look at me
Tell me what
You see
I seem happy.

I may actually be sometimes
Thats just what I conceal
If I look at myself I see
Empty pages,
I want to fill with
Pictures of real happiness.

One is a hidden glance
When you stare
When you are standing there.

This is a real
Picture of
What is happy?

Thats what I try to be
And thats why
I am actually laughing.

Because I am happy
And you don't even have to
Be there.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Strangers

Stop giving me that look
like I'm strange
Stop giving me that look
like I'm a freak show
Well you don't know anything
And stop giving me signs
That mix match nothings

The Weridos

It's us
We are the cool kids on the block
We acctually aren't
We just are
What we seem
The wierdos

It's us
We are the weirdos on the block
We acctually aren't
We just aren't
What we seem
We are the

Friday, March 27, 2009

Ninja Bear

Underneath the skin
I'll let you in
Just ask me
About the screams
Tearing through my head
I don't think I can stop it

Underneath the smiles
Laced on my lips
Just ask me
About the stains
On my heart

Where I don't think I can clean
Underneath me
No one knows or dares to enter
Just ask me
About anything
About the pain
About the scars
About the words
About the poison
The dying words
No one knows or dares to say
"I love you"
Said the teddy bear

A Soul Torn To Pieces

A soul torn to pieces
Crying for more
A scar torn through pieces
stop crying for me
I'm just trying to be
The person inside me

A soul torn to pieces
Who cares
I know
Can cause stares
A pair torn to pieces
Then in half
A fraction of a fraction
Can scratch a surface

You can hide
Running away
From rejection
Covering up glass
Easier to pass
As a soul
Torn by the past

A Look

Closing up the scars
That carried me away
To invisible stares
A place within a place
Called nowhere
Inside the meadow
Called nowhere
You called, "here now"

Flying to the space
That destroyed my grace
To visible cares

A person within people
Called, "I'm here now"
Inside your head
Called, "I'm here now"
To a person
Who has
A soul torn to pieces.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Seeing Double

Calling my name
I should

Your heart

And I get

I don't want

I don't want

But you.

Hopefully Crashing

If I could break
This open page
Maybe you would understand
How I feel

Hanging on a strand
A thread
A needle
A pin

And your hopefully crashing
Into me
My translucent skin

I think your the one
Sticking it in
If I could Stop this feeling
Would I?
Maybe you would understand
Maybe if everything ends
Maybe it can end.

Especially you

I keep steping closer to the edge
I keep holding back for nothing
I keep thinking no one cares
Especially you

I know I will fall someday
I know no one will catch me
Besides you probably don't care
I hope someone will be
Especially you

I just fell off my cliff
And no one cares
Especially you
When I'm dead.